Why Kids from Good Homes Sometimes Go Bad
Auto Beauty Business Culture Dieting DIY Events Fashion Finance Food Freelancing Gardening Health Hobbies Home Internet Jobs Law Local Media Men's Health Mobile Nutrition Parenting Pets Pregnancy Products Psychology Real Estate Relationships Science Seniors Sports Technology Travel Wellness Women's Health

Why Kids from Good Homes Sometimes Go Bad

Kids from good homes sometimes seem to go bad, and it can be for one of several reasons. Often parents in "good" homes are a little too rigid, and try to hold too tightly to their child for too long. Sometimes a child who is a slow learner feels left out, inadequate, and not as good as the other children in the family.
                          kids playing

Image Credit

When our son was in the sixth grade, he developed a desire to hang around with the tough kids. I didn't know exactly why he wanted to leave the friends that his mother and I approved of, but I suspected that a big part of the real problem was his small size. I finally got him to talk to me, and he said that all the kids called him, "Shrimpy." He felt weak and inadequate and wanted to start hanging around with the tough guys so they would protect him and give him a little status.

When I began to talk over his problem with him, I discovered that he was hiding more pain than he wanted to show. As I tried to help him understand that he might always be a little smaller than average, we went through a period where he got mad and yelled and cried. My regular criticisms and reminders were only adding to his feelings of inadequacy.

There are reasons for every hurt. In order to eliminate the hurt, we must discover the reasons for it. We found out part of our son's problem was physical in nature, and the doctors helped him in that area. We also started sending him to a different school. Sometimes the answers to teens problems are varied, but they are there if we look for them.

Kids from good homes sometimes seem to go bad, and it can be for one of several reasons. Often parents in "good" homes are a little too rigid, and try to hold too tightly to their child for too long. Sometimes a child who is a slow learner feels left out, inadequate, and not as good as the other children in the family. Or a child may compare himself to teens in other families and come out on the bottom in his own mind. Sometimes there are special circumstances, such as a child who is ill a lot of the time. If he receives a good deal of physical and medical attention as a little kid, he might unintentionally become spoiled. Then as his body grows stronger he loses the special attention he had, and he begins to "go bad" to get it back. In still other good families I find that parents might have had a lot of problems when one child was small. If they focused their attention and energy on their problems, the child might begin to misbehave as he grows up in an attempt to make his parents notice him.

I often take for granted that parents know about and try to avoid sibling rivalry, but I know that is not true. A lot of parents unconsciously single out one of their children as the one who best fits their concept of a model child. If that child happens to do well in everything that is important to his parents, he will get a lot of praise. The other children may do just as well in other areas, but the parents aren't usually as vocal about those accomplishments.

A teenager who feels he is loved less than his brothers and sisters will be hurt, and often becomes angry to cover his pain. His hidden hurt is seen as rebellion by his parents. Even parents in good homes are likely to face this kind of problem. If they wish to keep their children from going bad, they need to understand the hurt the kids might be feeling. Hurts can't all be prevented, but with the patient help of the parents, they can all be healed.

 

Need an answer?
Get insightful answers from community-recommended
experts
in Child Psychology on Knoji.
Would you recommend this author as an expert in Child Psychology?
You have 0 recommendations remaining to grant today.
Comments (0)
ARTICLE DETAILS
RELATED ARTICLES
RELATED CATEGORIES
ARTICLE KEYWORDS